Living with someone borderline disorder and dating

Tips for Couples Living With Borderline Personality Disorder | Everyday Health

living with someone borderline disorder and dating

An estimated 2% of the population has BPD, a type of personality disorder that is I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder” — “some borderlines feel “In someone with borderline personality disorder, the highs and lows can. But if you're dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else. Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on a You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases.

But then what comes along with it, a couple of weeks later, is: Everything is done with passion, but it goes from being very happy and passionate to very disappointed and rageful. Prior to her diagnosis, her boyfriend, Thomas, used to blame himself for her hot and cold behavior. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have: I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else I am worthless.

Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about—despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me. If someone treats me badly, then I become bad. When I am alone, I become nobody and nothing.

These thoughts may be completely at odds with your own perception of your partner, but it is imperative to understand that for them, they are very real, and can drive them toward extreme and seemingly irrational behavior. Navigating through this emotional minefield can be difficult and painful for both of you, but knowing that their thoughts and behaviors are the product of intensely powerful perceptional distortions deeply rooted in their mental health disorder, rather than a reflection of your own shortcomings, can bring some comfort.

For Thomas, educating himself about BPD helped him move from self-blame to empathy and compassion: There are a lot of nuances, complexities, and lines to be read through with BPD, but mostly I see Borderline Personality Disorder as an illness about pain, fear, and struggling to cope with all of that. But the common conception is just [that they are] crazy, which is an extraordinarily damaging misconception to those who suffer from it.

For relationships to have a chance of succeeding, this is a critical piece: Call for a Free Confidential Assessment. In part, this is spurred by the myth that BPD is untreatable, a false but prevalent belief that can too often remove hope.

living with someone borderline disorder and dating

In reality, with the right treatment, many people with BPD can learn to manage their symptomsand a substantial number achieve remission to the point where they no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for the illness. By integrating specialized BPD therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy with other evidence-based clinical and holistic therapies within the context of a comprehensive treatment plan, it is possible to disrupt the emotional and behavioral instability of BPD and establish inner tranquility.

living with someone borderline disorder and dating

Along with individual and group therapies, couples therapy is often an integral part of healing from BPD, as individuals and as a team.

With the right tools and community strategies, it is possible to help your loved one towards recovery. Article continues below Concerned about Borderline Personality Disorder?

Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - louisvuittonbelt.info

Take our 2-minute quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. Take BPD Quiz Signs and Symptoms Only a doctor or mental health professional can officially provide an official diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there are several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD.

Some studies suggest that there is a genetic component, meaning the disorder can be hereditary. Hostile family environments, childhood abuse and neglect, and separation from caregivers can also increase the risk. Some research indicates BPD can emerge when parts of the brain that help regulate emotions and aggressive impulses are not functioning well.

Psychotherapy, otherwise known as talk therapy, can be incredibly valuable for treating BPD. In addition to learning about the signs and symptoms of the disorder, individuals can gain skills for managing difficult emotions, developing and maintaining relationships, reducing impulsive decision-making, and improving daily functioning.

The therapy helps people change unhealthy patterns of behavior by becoming more mindful about the emotions and reactions they are experiencing in the moment.

Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been specifically created to treat personality disorders. However, some people find that medications can help reduce anxiety or impulsivity in individuals. These might include antidepressants, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications.

If an individual with BPD experience intense symptoms, such as self-injury or physically harming others, they may be in need of inpatient treatment at a hospital or other residential program.

How to Cope When a Partner or Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder

How should I structure the home environment? People with BPD benefit from a home environment that is calm and relaxed. All involved family members including a boyfriend or girlfriend should know not to discuss important issues when the individual is in crisis mode. Stop to take a breath yourself when they do become emotionally reactive.

When Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder

People with BPD should have opportunities to talk about their interests and thoughts about the news, family events, and other leisure activities. Take the time to laugh at a funny joke or eat dinner together several times a week. The less an individual feels like his or her mental illness is under the spotlight, the more opportunity they have to explore other aspects of themselves. How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations.

The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity. They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe. They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued.

living with someone borderline disorder and dating

Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument. Try not to take it personally.

Dating Someone With BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future. What if they threaten to hurt themselves?